The Feminine in Fairy Tales

Amazon Used

This isn't going to seem like a very interesting book, but I have to talk about it once I've finished it. As I've read this book in it's entirety as research for a personal project, it's not going to be much of a "review."

I would consider this book as more of an expansion of the materials you read about in Women Who Run With Wolves. I'm becoming quite the expert on particular stories and motifs (I joke that someone should just hand over my PhD any time they're ready - but we can talk about that when I scare up some grad school money maybe/eventually/never).
It does relay a lot of the same information that Women Who Run With Wolves covered, but examines it in closer and more academically, under a Jungian lens. Where Women Who Run With Wolves played more at women readers' sentiments, The Feminine in Fairy Tales asked you to examine yourself and others. Or rather, taught you how to. This wasn't a self-help book at all: it was philosophical and exploratory, but it focused more on the meanings behind the actions of common and uncommon fairy tales - not the reader. Still, it had gave me a lot to think about, personally, which is just a side effect.
It was fascinating, but not for the masses. For that, go to Women Who Run With Wolves. If, perhaps, you have a school paper to write - this makes excellent research. It can be bought on Amazon, but a quick Google search might scare up a PDF version, if you're a poor college student looking for some help.

Women Who Run With The Wolves

Amazon Used ($4 total)

An interesting thing happened while I was reading this particular book, which has been strongly recommended to me from various sources and bought for one cent (used) on Amazon (with shipping - $4 exactly). Though some women have expressed interest in it, men have definitely given me different reactions - for the most part very condescending reactions. Hopefully, my review will explain why that is a really unnecessary and ridiculous reaction. It is worth noting that while reading this book, it got a lot of negative attention - more so than when I read basically anything else. I got less negative attention while reading smarmy Christian romance novels. At least four different people have given it a quick glance and automatic disdain. Anyway, I don't expect this to be my most popular review.

So you should check your expectations at the door. While I can understand why some people would find the title off-putting, I'm still surprised by those strong reactions. Even more so because I know that those expectations are completely unfounded. If you are expecting this book to be a furious bohemian feminist manifesto or "self-help," you are absolutely wrong. The sub-title says it all - "Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype" - as in, Jungian Archetypes in Mythologies and Folktales Explained to YOU, Dear Reader. So yes, maybe that is a form of "self-help." "Wild Woman" really just means, "every female that doesn't fall into the same category as the virgin mother," in other words, every daughter, sister, mother, friend, lover who isn't pure and perfect. And that's basically all of us, no matter what.
It's academic, wise, and non-critical. While I started off reading it alongside The Heroine's Journey, I found that this book was more informative, fair, relaxed, and pleasant as a whole than the other book was. It's a good way to discover lesser known folktales and myths, if you're interested in that (which I completely am). It's wonderful if you want the common nuances and motifs in those sorts of stories explained, though remember that that means it's focused on feminine motifs.
It's also so inspiring! If anything, it was a great reminder and coach that in my own life, I should use these stories as guides for any season I find might find myself in - be it illness, grief, motivation, romance, family, career, whatever! It's almost as good as therapy and, uh, so much cheaper. I know I'm going to continue to revisit this book over and over, and I'd like to recommend it to all of the women that I know - provided that they're receptive to it.

The Heroine's Journey: A Woman's Quest for Wholeness

So, first I have to apologize for my 2 month absence. To quote God Help the Girl: "I've got to save some dough - I'm a working girl, you know." My day job hasn't been awarding me with much extra time for reading and writing. All the same, I've been struggling to make time to work on a personal project which will involve a lot of research before I can even get started on it.
That project is why I've taken some time away from reading fiction almost entirely and plunged headlong into non-fiction. Hence, I bring you a quick and dirty review on Maureen Murdock's The Heroine's Journey. This book was published in 1990, and I feel like that's important to mention because some of it's theories are - as I feel - dated. What I thought I was picking up when I got this book was a breakdown on a strong female character archetype (which would be immensely useful for the project I have planned). While I did glean some of that from this book, it was more of an old-fashioned Feminist Psychoanalyst? If that is even enough to encapsulate it. Regardless, I was half impressed and half disgusted with what I found. There were parts - the psychology - that I considered completely dead on. Very accurate; it hit really close to home. There were other parts - the feminism - that kind of made me disgusted. Yes, I am a feminist. But I'm a millennial feminist, which means that the modern definition of feminism has had 20 years to evolve from the feminism in this book. For the better, personally. In 1990, right on the cusp of the mid-90's "Girl Power!" phase of feminism, men where still considered something to beat back with a broom handle - at all costs. Women were still divorcing their husbands on the grounds that They Were Men, And We Don't Need Men. I believe the millennial feminist has more respect for men, as many more millennial men have more respect for women - and as it turned out that was half the battle. We are focusing more of our attention on gaining respect for everyone. So it's entirely cringe-worthy to still see what I consider middle-aged, Crazy Liberal Mama Feminism is an actual thing, though it helps to remember this book as a relic.
But there was still some nice things that it made me think about and realize - it isn't all flawed. For instance, as the heroine in our own stories, we get the idea that to be "strong" we must swing strongly in the opposite direction - we must be more masculine than feminine. That's the danger, Murdock says. We aren't built to be compatible with the traditional idea of a manly "strength." This isn't saying we can't be strong women, or that we shouldn't try to be strong women - but do so in such a way that you don't lose sight of your own femininity - whatever that means for you.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

photo credit: alt3rd-state

I have to say, I'm not super proud of this post. But I've always been super honest and open on the topic, and I promised to review every book I read from cover to cover here, so here goes nothing.

The book: It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken. The authors: husband and wife duo, Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (Should we trust them more because they are happily married? Especially because 1/2 of them is a Dating Advice Rock Star?)

How did I ever come to find myself in a situation where I would need to read a book like this? How did I become "that girl"? Oh well. Self-help books exist for a reason, as bad a wrap as they get. I poured over the titles in the self-help section of my local library, hoping to find something that would jump out at me. This was the closest thing I could find, though it wasn't quite what I was looking for. The proverbial ship has sailed on this situation, but the scabs haven't completely healed over, so I decided "Eh, well I may as well give it a read."

The book is funny, light-hearted, and very, very frank. No, it didn't eventually answer the question I went into it asking, but I'm afraid some things can't be found in books, my dears. Did I mention it was frank? (And by "frank" I don't mean your stupid friend who tried to get himself deported, only to try to get back. ...Who doesn't have a Frank in their life?) What I mean is it hit some raw nerves that somehow hadn't been touched on yet. How can a book, published 6 years ago, be so all knowing? Answer: (you might want to write this one down and stick it on your vanity mirror) You Aren't That Special! Oh sure, you're a snowflake alright. But the situation you're in? It's been done. It's been done by Hollywood, MTV, the Ancient Greeks, Revolutionary Frenchmen, Dr Who, you name it. Is there some comfort in that? Maybe. 

This book does not guarantee a major plastic surgery on your broken, train wreck of a heart. But this book does have something great to offer - caution and self-esteem boosts. Here, let me pull up some gems for you gals:

“The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.” 

“Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.” 

 “It's an odd thing to think about, but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of Oreos? Chain-smoke, pop, pills, get stoned, or fuck around? NO YOU WOULDN'T. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life."

Just keep reminding yourself that you're a catch. Yes, it hurts like hell to have someone choose another person over you - especially because you cared very much and very deeply for that person. But don't take that to mean that you're disposable. You aren't. Think of those home decorating shows - people (okay, gay men) literally decorate their beautiful, exquisite homes with things that they find in other people's garbage or flea markets. You're like that pine chifforobe left out on the curb, and then an Antonio finds you and makes you desirable. But you are, in fact, a human person. Which means that you have legs and upward mobility and you can walk yourself off of that gross curb or out of that dusty flea market and you don't even have to wait around for your fairy gay-mother. In fact, you don't even need a Prince Smarming either, but you're entitled to one if you really want one.
This book is really cute, and it's good to have handy when cupid whacks you in the face with the back of his hand. Don't do anything crazy, live your life, and if you can't well... fake it til you make it. That's what I always do!

How To Steal Like An Artist

Here's a relatively tiny e-book I read on my phone over the course of a week while babysitting. In a way, Austin Kleon has summed up everything important and useful that I learned while in college, and made it into this book (and also a popular lecture).
Basically, this book could have saved me 6 years of expense and emotional torment if it hadn't been released the very year I graduated from college. If you know someone who is in college studying art or something creative, someone who is interested in studying something like art, or someone who is simply passionate about creating things, please get them this book. It's quite impossible for me to review a book like this, but basically it says what I would want to tell anyone - or rather everyone - who has that creative gift. It's reassuring to read this book and be told that, yeah! Your guilty pleasures like video games and comic books? Even though they aren't considered high art, if you get some inspiration from them then by all means - do not give them up! They contribute to something bigger and very personal for you. You like to write fan-fiction? Who hasn't written fan-fiction at one time? Keep writing! The reassuring message is just to keep going!
For instance, I keep a "sketch diary." This is a personal and extremely honest little book where I draw auto-biographic comic strips about my day, emotions, anxieties, etc. I keep scads of notebooks - I'm a notebook collector. Every book serves a certain purpose. In fact, I cannot leave my house without a notebook, pen, and highlighter. I use it for "collecting" or "stealing." I did this even before reading this little book, but that's exactly what this little book encourages. Because from my sketch diary to my note-collecting, all of this is research, and it is very telling. For one thing, collecting like this has become a very vital and important habit I've formed. It is in essence why I am an artist at heart. Not because I've been one of the best drawers in my class all through my formative years.
In a sense, everyone who owns a Tumblr blog is keeping a notebook. Everyone who has a Pintrest account is too. But you're not an artist unless you try them out for yourself, and only then when you forgive yourself for not making a perfect imitation of those cookie monster cupcakes, for example.
But enough about me. Let Austin Kleon tell you himself what this book is about: