Bad Kid by David Crabb

Library eBook

I've never heard of David Crabb. Apparently he's a person I should know, but I'm afraid I don't. All I knew was that this is a memoir about a now-grown man who was a gay, Gothic teenager in Texas and that sounded so unlikely that I knew it was something I needed to read. Well, maybe not "unlikely," but certainly there would have to be some good stories here, right?
It would be easy to draw comparisons to David Crabb's memoir to, say David Sedaris's. I think the important difference between them is in the tone. Yeah, Sedaris is hilarious and this might feel like an imitation to his fans, but I found Sedaris' tone really harsh, mean, and bitchy - when I read Me Talk Pretty One Day in high school or early college, I hated it. I might give it another go at some point, as I have grown into a bitter and dry adult myself. My opinion of that book is completely at odds with nearly everyone I know, which leads me to believe that in forming my early impression of him I missed something important (Sedaris has made me cry when listening to his stories on NPR, so there is that).
But in David Crabb's memoir I didn't get a whiff of bitterness at all. It was so much sweeter and really refreshing. How can you grow up gay and goth in Texas and not be bitter?! I feel like it should be expected of him, he's even entitled to it! But nope, Crabb may have one of the most mature and forgiving voices I've heard from many a gay man. The important part, I believe, is that as miserable as he probably was growing up, he was still surrounded by people who loved him, even if they didn't understand him.
It's cringe-worthy, but not at a Meet the Parents level where everything just goes wrong. You can see trouble coming, especially in early chapters, but the resolution is never as humiliating as you might have foreseen. I am a straight woman, and he made me understand what it was like to feel repulsed by other women. His high school friends made me wish that I could really have met them and hung out with them (without all the pedestrian drug use, maybe). Greg seemed like a lot of fun, Sylvia is a doppelganger of one of my own high school best friends, and Max, precious, sweet cinnamon-roll too good for this world... Oh, Max. After finishing this book, I lay in bed at night thinking about that perfect bro-mance they shared.
As a "Bad Kid," it's pretty apparent that Crabb wasn't actually a bad kid. He made a lot bad choices, but once his family caught up with him, they intervened. His father coming to terms with his gay son was painful to watch, but it was obvious it was never going to end badly.
This book was funny without ever once disgusting me. In fact, beyond my expectations, it renewed my faith in humanity. I never actually expected it to be a feel-good memoir, but that's kind of what it was. I really recommend it, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

H is for Hawk by Helen McDonald

Library e-book

This book, arrrgh! *grasps chest* Thiiis Boook!! Easily my favorite book I've read so far this year. I didn't read it because it's a New York Times bestseller (what's that?) or a winner of multiple literary awards (sounds neat-o, but I don't care). I, in all earnestness, read it because I recognized that the illustration on the cover was some sort of relief print (either lino-cut or woodcut - I was a printmaking student in college). All of those honors heaped upon this book was a complete waste on me. But more importantly, I wanted to read it because I love books on natural science and I did recognize that this book was gaining popularity in the literary crowd. I love natural science, but I've never visited a popular bookstore or library where their natural sciences were well trodden. It's unusual for this sort of thing to really shoot up on the best seller's list. Even though I would have been interested in this book no matter what, I think my interest in reading it was heightened just a tad more.

I was not anticipating this book to be a sum of what it actually was - it was more than a little book about hawks. I suppose that's why it's more widely loved - if it were just about hawks it wouldn't be so popular. H is for Hawk is a memoir about Helen Macdonald dealing with the death of her father. Ever since childhood, she's been obsessed with falcons, hawks, and other birds of prey. She'd even convinced her parents to take her to a falconry hunt. Now as an adult, he's an adjunct history professor, but overcoming her father's death has sent her back to her childhood obsession with hawks to where she has decided to train a goshawk. Goshawks, she'd been warned, are incredibly difficult to train. But maybe this is just the challenge she needs to keep her from wallowing.
During any particular stage of grief, most of us are recommended to read Eat, Pray, Love to help with the coping. (I know it was overwhelmingly prescribed to me.) While Elizabeth's wisdom is very helpful in Eat, Pray, Love, how many of us would actually be able to globe trot the way that she did following a divorce? Maybe some of us can, but I can promise that a huge percentage of the readers who made her book a best seller couldn't have. We were forced to live vicariously through her, though many of us were moved nonetheless. While certainly for various reasons most of us couldn't and wouldn't be able to train a hawk in response to loss or heart break, somehow it feels (to me, at least) more accessible. In her fits of mania, I recognized myself. Though we've grieved over different kinds of loss, grief is still the same.
So, this book is about ecology, dealing with grief, a little about a woman falconer, and a brief biography on the author T.H. White who not only wrote The Once and Future King, but wrote a masterpiece of a book called The Goshawk - very influential in Helen's training of her goshawk.

This book moved me deeply and may be the best thing I've read so far this year. Not only is it beautifully written, but I get it, I get it. I get wanting to hide from humanity and retreating (almost dangerously far) into a more wild world just a step apart from the one we live in now. I get it. For that reason alone, I can recommend this book highly, but I don't know if everyone will feel what she's saying. That felt so deeply personal, it's like she read my diary from 3 years ago, plagiarized my sketch books from across the Atlantic ocean, it's like she was "killing me softly." But I know she didn't, because even though everyone deals with their grief differently, it's still the same thing.

Call the Midwife

Kindle

I've been a big fan of the series Call the Midwife since around the time I was still watching Downton Abbey and I'm more or less still watching Call the Midwife, so that's what you should know about me.

I've been reading this on my somewhat inconveniently sized Kindle phone app, and now an actual Kindle, for about a year because damn that was ill-planning on my part. I really liked the book, even if it felt like a review of the TV show I'm already a big fan of. However, one of the larger issues is that you really have to be in the right mood for it. I loved this book, it's really, really good. But I understand that not everyone will be up to the emotional steamroller you'd be in for. I mean it, you really have to be in the right mood for it. Don't be fooled by those sweet looking children on the cover. Though, do let me put a finer point on it. I don't know if many men will be, ahem, man enough for this book as I know of a few fine fellows who have hidden in another part of the house when their wives had the show on.

I don't know how I should elaborate this. Well, you expect certain things to come up in a memoir about a midwife. But sometimes we might forget just how bad medical practices were in the 1950's - or at the very least, the extent of how bad they were (curious about more of that? Check out the Sawbones podcast). And that's for people who could afford it. Add to that the fact that most of the patents were extremely poor, living conditions were appalling, and hygiene was probably the 5th to last thing on everyone's minds. A good nurse can only do so much. Maybe part of the reason I found this book so icky is that I instinctively know that I could never, ever, ever, ever, ever do a nurses' job. We all have our talents and I would be so utterly ill-suited for it; I would never consider it. (I owe this to my lack of feeling for human life and less about my morbid curiosity for bodily function)
What really puts your heart through the wringer is how much poverty these people suffered. And I mean poverty of all kinds, not just financial. The people who were just poor money-wise were the happiest, as you see pretty often. She interacted with some real characters, from the patients themselves, to the nuns she lived and worked with (despite the fact that she wasn't Catholic or even religious at all), to the other nurses.
There are actually 3 volumes in this series of memoirs, which is pretty unusual in the world of memoirs. This is obviously the first, and I might eventually go on to read the other two, but I have no idea when because... Christ. Emphasis on you really have to be in the right mood. If ever you're in just too good of a mood and need to bring it down a notch, these books will probably be waiting for you.

The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating

Library

This morning, on my way out of the house for work, I noticed (to my despair) a crushed snail on my path. It was probably crushed under my father's heavy work shoes earlier that morning on his way to work. I don't know about you, but stepping on snails is very distressing to me - not just because of the squick factor, but because I really love the little guys.

The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating was my re-introduction to one of my favorite genres as a child - the natural sciences. This book might even have been something I would have read as a child (if it had been published back then). It was part memoir, part natural history.
It's a very short and sweet story at first about an ill, bedridden woman. Doctors are perplexed and unable to give her a clear diagnosis as the mysterious illness takes it's toll on her body. She is transplanted from the hubbub of her daily life to a lonely and quiet horizontal life in bed. Well, lonely until a friend brings her a pot of wild violets. And in this pot of violets is a tiny friend - a forest snail. This little bedside table companion proves to be just the company she needed. Her daily observations and studies of her little friend led her to a singular breakthrough - no one before had so closely observed a snail for so long. Perhaps no one had such a, well, human connection with a snail before. A humble and simple creature, certainly - nothing tremendous. But who are we to say it isn't as valuable a life?

I read this book very quickly (over a short weekend) and while it may fall far back in my memory after some time, it was a relaxing and enlightening little book.

Morrissey's Autobiography

Book Source: Amazon Preorder

Disclaimer: If you want an unbiased review, do not read this. I adore Morrissey too much to think anything bad about him and his work.

To begin with - I love Morrissey. Not just because I'm a hipster and it's cool to listen to The Smiths. No - I connect with his music in a way that I've never been able to with anything else. I know everyone says his lyrics are sad and lonely and dramatically depressing, but if I'm completely honest, I don't see it. I see it as really intellectually honest, literate dry and dark humor. Besides "to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die," I don't think any of his songs are any more depressing than the lyrics in most songs you still hear on the radio (but I could mean that for a different reason).
I know I've already talked about why I love reading celebrity memoirs is that it's like sitting with famous people you already like a lot and having a long, serious conversation over coffee. It gives you the idea that you actually know them - not just a tarnished image that's put up for market. You get a good reminder that these people are real human beings. But that can be dangerous for a fan too. Well, not so much dangerous - healthy, but also unwelcome. I really love Morrissey and his work, and reading his autobiography could potentially dispel the image I have of him. And to a certain degree, it did. But not in a negative way - it really just reminded me that he is human, and he is flawed after-all.
Right out of the gate, he didn't hold anything back - this man can fucking write. He knows what he's doing with words, and he knows how to use them. He knows how to use them. Morrissey is magic with the pen, and unlike most celebrity memoirs, I have absolute faith that this wasn't ghost written - there's too much ambiguity, for one thing. He isn't cheap with his expressions, and never really was.
The image I now have of him is that of a man who has been let down and disappointed in his career so many times - and personally - that he couldn't trust another human to do anything but fail him. And why not? But it's never hindered his success and his legions of fans. Still, the people in his personal life whom he loved and could depend on - many of them women (his mother and grandmother, several songstresses, Tina - his long time lady-friend, etc) he would never speak badly of. Anyway, if you're a fan already, I suggest you give this a read. My family has grown tired of me talking about Morrissey and "The Gospel According To Morrissey" as I'm sure my friends have as well.

As Promised, here's my illustration for the book:

I would call him a Charming Man, but
That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Wishful Drinking

   Oh, Carrie Fisher... if you are too young to recognize (and I ought to be) she is the actress best known for her role in Star Wars as Princess Leia... and if you're also a woman, she played Meg Ryan's sassy sidekick bestie in When Harry Met Sally.
   I have a confession to make. I'm a closeted fan of celebrity memoirs - but only if it is a humorous memoir. This, as I've recently explained to a friend, is because I feel like I know these famous people better. I know their lives more intimately, I've heard their funny antidotes, I know about their origins... It feels more like they're telling me stories about their lives over coffee. It feels like we're friends. I love that. It's best when it's humorous because no one wants to have coffee with a wallowing and sad stranger.
   Carrie Fisher is sort of an idol for me, and I'm sure she is for many other Nerdy Girls. Not only because she's an iconic woman in the Nerd industry, but because she's got a smart mouth. I've never met a nerdy girl who isn't as snarky as the day is long. (Have you?) This is all the reason in the world that we need to look up to her. But she's also had a rather interesting, rocky life - I, personally, love and respect women who have lead difficult lives. Her parents (Debbie Reynolds and "Crooner" Eddie Fisher) were the sweethearts of Hollywood in their time. They were also dear friends of Elizabeth Taylor and her husband Michael Todd - even walked in their wedding. Then when Todd died suddenly in a plane crash, Eddie Fisher went to console Elizabeth ... "with his penis." He never went back to his family, but Elizabeth did dump him not long after during the filming of Cleopatra for Richard Burton. (When news of these developments caught up with Debbie, quote: "I Laughed.")
   Marriage and dating in Hollywood, as we all know, is a very slippery slope. Carrie herself wedded and bedded a few men herself, one of which being Paul Simon - she even says she's the inspiration for his song Graceland.
   But, of course, we all know and love her for her role as Princess Leia. Can you imagine being this woman? Can you imagine being "Graceland," every geek's wet dream, and having famous parents? She has such a great sense of humor. But what she's learned is that she needed to. She was also manic depressive, alcoholic, and addicted to drugs. Carrie Fisher's life wasn't exactly a stroll through the park. All the more reason why I desperately want to be her coffee buddy.

   I realize, of course, that this memoir (released in 2008) coincided with a HBO special of the same name, which I also have not seen but have heard something of. All the same, this book was a fun romp.

My Clippings: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Today I'm going to start a new segment called "My Clipping," which basically refers to the highlighting feature on the Amazon Kindle. I noticed a while back that I'd highlighted some really awesome, funny, inspirational, and random passages in books I'd completely forgotten I'd read.  Sometimes it's just because of the way it was phrased. Sometimes, for no other reason than that it resonated with me.

In today's installment, I feature Mindy Kaling's hilarious memoir Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). I personally love this little Throughly Modern American Hindu - I love her show on FOX The Mindy Project (though my Mom doesn't share my enthusiasm because, in her words, "She talks too fast.") I think the was the first book I ever read entirely in ebook form. If you're into Female Comedian Memoirs, which I get it if you're not, and you - through some fluke of fate - haven't read this one yet, I think maybe you should. Hopefully some of these clippings will convince you.

Before we begin, I would like to do the responsible thing and mention that none of the following were mine - they are entirely that of the author's and the publisher's and anyone else who had a hand in this book's creation which is in no way affiliated with this blog. Also, there aren't any page numbers assigned because it was in ebook form, and that may not be accurate. However, I think a few of them are obviously from the same chapter because they cover similar ground. I'm hoping that we're all intelligent readers and can figure it out without having to be told. Okay, I think that about covers it. Follow the jump for the quotes now!

Blue Like Jazz

One of my friends mysteriously (I say "mysteriously" because there was this whole thing... Inside joke. Anyway.) texted me about this book one day. We decided we'd make our first ever book club around this book. As a result, I don't want to have a whole essay written about this book, because I'm going to get bored with it myself.
Blue Like Jazz is a funny, hip memoir of one man's spiritual journey. The subtitle for the book is "Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality." That's not especially true. Donald is clearly a very religious man, and as such he can't seem to unrelate Christian spirituality in his own life. I'm fine with this - to me this book is more of his spiritual journey and the things he learned and un-learned about faith over the course of his life. It is not, as some non-Christian reviewers would have you believe, a preachy sermon about why Church is the best thing ever, ever, ever! And if you're not with us you're against us! Nope. Incorrect. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. If that is your first thoughts when the topics Church and Faith and Christianity is brought up, back away slowly. You've clearly made up your mind, and nothing is going to change it.
It's a memoir. This isn't going to be filed away anywhere under "memoir" but that's what it is. Don has some interesting and sometimes faulty revelations. Nothing in this book is supposed to dictate how you should live your faith - whatever your faith may be. But his reflections are always, well, enlightening. The thing about Donald is that he isn't perfect, and I'm so glad that this book isn't another one of those Christian books about how you neeed to live your life if you want to be a good Christian. Because those are boring and actually preachy and often times hypocritical. Don doesn't approach topics that way. It's really more of a "I always felt this way, but now that I think about it, that wasn't really right." And as it turns out, we all kind of think that way some time or another. It's good to have it pointed out to us. Don couldn't tell you how you're supposed to live and think as a Christian - because the truth of the matter is, he's still trying to figure it out for himself. And that is why his book is a memoir on his spiritual journey.